Surrender Dorothy...

After a balmy November, todays wind chill is like a literal slap in the face. I had big plans for this morning. A trip to the craft store, conquering the growing pile of recycling, and catching the Saturday morning story time at the library. Simon protested getting dressed, insisting on staying in "cozy PJ's" as he put it, and I couldn't really blame him. Greta began rehearsing a one girl dance recital that is taking place tonight (full with tickets, posters and costume changes), at approximately when-Dad-gets-home-from-work a clock (he is 1/3 of the audience mind you). The weather and the children seemed to be in synch, and once I caught up with them and surrendered my plan, the morning was succulently smooth. I hung our new bird feeder from a nearby tree branch, made pancakes, and did laundry, while Simon stood watch at the window, hoping to catch the first glimpse of hungry bird friends, all to the tune of the Nutcracker Ballet (which I'm pretty sure is the soundtrack to Greta's recital...). Lazy Saturday mornings, really nothing beats them.

Checking it twice....

There are lots of lists being listed around here lately. Lists of ways to winterize this big old drafty house, shopping lists that include fun things like molasses and nutmeg, lists of friends and family that will soon receive holiday cards, not to mention the ever changing lists scattered around the house beginning with "Dear Santa". Living amongst so much "to do" can make me feel paralyzed about where to begin. Sometimes I find it helpful to record what we have done, it isn't very productive, but it comforts the longing to be doing more by reminding me of how busy we are doing the fun things that this season brings with it.

- We went "over the river and through the woods" to celebrate Thanksgiving with family.

- We met Santa on a dreary drizzly day, and watched Simon fumble through his first candy cane.

- We went to a very sweet children's holiday event hosted by the Farnsworth Museum, where we saw a puppet show, and decorated cookies with pounds of green and red sugar.

- Attended our first nighttime parade, at which Simon got to see up close his favorite holiday character thus far, The Grinch.

- Spent the day with some girlfriends that I don't see nearly often enough (and our combined 10!! children).

- I chaperoned Greta's class trip to see The Nutcracker Ballet, while Simon had his first Mom-free play date with friends.

- We found and chopped down our Christmas tree, and then reunited with our ornaments and made a paper chain.

- We went on the Polar Express and witnessed the elves at work.

- Greta saw a production of Annie with her Nana and her Aunt Amanda.

- We made yummy gingerbread drizzled with caramel sauce, and ate the whole pan in two days.

- We taught Simon "Jingle Bells", and are working some other tunes.

We are expecting an old fashioned winter storm today. Greta's school is dismissing early. I guess the to do lists will have to wait while we spend the afternoon playing in the snow, sipping hot chocolate, and stringing popcorn for our tree.

American Pie....

Surely many kitchens across the country looked, sounded, and smelled similar to the way mine did today. The flour nestled in every nook of counter space and the random apple peels on the floor. The squeals of delight that come from the stickiness of fresh dough to the fingers. And the sweet, sweet smell of apple pie, mixed with a little sugary smoke, the sign of a pie bubbled over and filled to the brim with juicy goodness. Have a tasty Thanksgiving.

Gratitude.....

I try really hard to keep my finger on the pulse of my gratitude daily. It tends to keep me and the big black hole of self pity at a safe distance. Ironically, it's usually the same things that cause me worry and stress that I am most grateful for. Don't get me wrong, there are regrets, big novel sized lists of regrets, and there are the overtired cranky Mama days when I wish the world would go away, just one moment of peace please. This is just the way life rolls, and when I feel a little better (sometimes a little dark chocolate helps ease it), I have the perspective of feeling grateful that I'm on the other side. It can be really annoying sometimes, but I like to be "glass half full" with a realistic side of sarcasm.

With Thanksgiving approaching, they are talking in school a lot about what they are thankful for, so it's been a good chance to include Greta in my practice. She says she's thankful for her family (YES!!), and her freedom, (somehow I think this may have been prompted at school) and I'm sure that the list will grow between now and next Thursday.

Right now I am just so, so grateful for little hands. Sticky at times, and hardly ever where they are supposed to be, they are also such great reminders about how fast things change. Our dining room table is littered with traced and cut out hands in various stages of turkeyhood, and it's hard for me to believe how big Greta's hands have gotten so quickly. When I have Greta's hand in one of mine, and Simon's in the other, I am so thankful for the physical connection that keeps them close and safe, even if they are a little sticky.

Busted.

This morning while I was tackling a seasonal clothing shift, and scurrying around emptying bathroom trash cans and such, I had a moment of peaceful appreciation. The folding and storing of warm weather clothing brought back memories of sand ringed bathtubs and popsicles, and the turtlenecks and long underwear made me look forward to snowmen and hot chocolate. The house was silent, and my head full of daydreams when I realized that the house was a little too quiet. What was Simon doing??.... and then I found him, and he looked very proud of his artwork! Luckily, the marker was washable, and came off easily with warm water. Where there is mischief to be made, he will find the quiet window to make it in!

A tiny tidbit....

On our usual walk to school one day last week, Greta and I had this funny little conversation.

Greta: "Look at those flagpoles Mom. They are so tall that the flags are in windier weather than we are"

Me: "Which flags are those Greta?"

Greta: "The one on top is the American flag, and I'm pretty sure that the one under it is the Chinese flag."

Me: (laughing hysterically) "Greta! That flag below the American flag is the Maine State flag, silly!"

Greta: "Okay Mom, we are going to change the subject now."

She sincerely dislikes being corrected these days, but I give her kudos for good communication.

Rake, rake, raking........

The fallen leaves in our yard have provided hours and hours of autumn entertainment. There were the early fall bouquets gathered, when the leaves were still their fiery colors, there was the inevitable jumping and burrowing in piles, and there was the occasional leaf "fight" with armfuls of leaves thrown at one another and stuffed in jacket hoods. I have been raking leaves for weeks now, and also sweeping off the floor the ones that highjacked their way inside. I've loved watching the kids play in and with them, and am grateful for the reminder that nature provides entertainment longer lasting than any toy, but the frost this morning confirmed that some

actual yard work, and leaf removal was necessary before.... well we all know before what. So with the help of my little friends, we raked and gathered and lugged the first half of our yards' leaves to the street side of our lawn, where they will be picked up by the "leaf vacuum truck" as Simon calls it, and turned into mulch. There is much fretting by the truck loving one year old in my life, that we will miss the truck in action, but I convinced him that it wouldn't possibly come after bed time.

Friends...

We spent this Veteran's Day catching up with some good friends. Dress up, playgrounds, walking puppies, eating out, some talk time for the Mom's (but not nearly enough, really), checking out new projects, herding the five children that we had in our charges, it was all very nice. I wish I had taken more photos of this glorious fall day, and the beautiful children I shared it with, but I got caught up in the moment, and that is a good thing.

History repeating itself....

My Dad always took me with him to the polls when he voted. It was waiting in the line that often wound down the two story stairwell and spilled out into the echoey hallway of the town office that I learned that women were denied the right to vote until 1920. The waiting in line, the sound of my Dad's name called out by the clerk, the tiny little booth, and the wooden padlocked box with it's little mail drop opening, it was all so romantic to me. Since turning 18 I haven't ever missed voting in an election.

I waited until Greta got home from school and then took her and Simon to vote with me today. The lines were significant, which I explained to Greta was a good thing (despite Simon's squirminess) because people cared to wait. There I was with my own children and all of the things I remembered about the experience but through their eyes. The lines, the booths, and the now electronic deposit box. I promised Greta my sticker that said "I Voted Today", but either there weren't any, or our swift escape with a very loud Simon made us miss them. I don't think she left with any new appreciation for the democratic process, but it was really important to me that she was there.

All's well that ends well, and the candy helps too!

The five year age difference between my children is something that is helpful in most every situation. Greta could dress herself, tie her own shoes, buckle into the carseat unassisted and play on her own quite well before Simon was even born. She is cognitive of Simon's needs and the time that it takes to meet them and is flexible with her own.... except when it comes to a holiday that is all about dressing up and consuming loads of candy, that's where the buck comes to a screaming halt. The trick or treating must go on, with or without the temper tantruming 20 month old Robot in tow! Luckily, we had a lovely invitation from some friends to celebrate in their neighborhood (they also fed us a hefty healthy meal prior to the sugar insanity!) and the adults happily took over with Greta, when I had to bow out with Simon. I felt a little dissapointed about missing the trick or treating, but comforted the blow with roughly 12 peanut butter cups from Greta's stash after she fell asleep. Either way, she was the best Hermoine, and he the cutest Robot that we saw all night!

Sweet with a side of Bitter...

When Adam and I decided to get married, and to have our wedding in November, I pictured everything draped in bittersweet. I love it and am mesmerized my it's intricate vining, although I read now that it's strength can choke other plants, and that it's berries (which can mistakenly look quite yummy to a certain one year old I know) are poisonous. I guess that must be the bitter part. I collected it this year, for pretty outside decorations, and to remind me that is the bitter that makes sweet so much sweeter.

A Little Perspective....

The kids and I took an outing today to the local ski spot and rode the chair lift to the top of the mountain to investigate what brave foliage made it through Saturday's wind and rain. The woman who sold us our tickets said that it would take 15 minutes to get to the top of the mountain, and without this perspective I would have had no sense of time.

Lately I have been actively practicing living more presently; trying to experience the moments that I am in, rather than planning or worrying about those that await. This is more challenging for me than I think it should be, but today was like a karmic gift for my work.

When the chair lift scooped us up off the ground, time stopped mattering. Greta said it felt like a gentle giant's hand carrying us, whereas I thought it was more like we had hopped on the back of a bird and were experiencing it's flight. The views were breathtaking, the company was perfect, the moment was present.

We stopped at the top of the mountain and poked around in soggy moss for a while before hopping back on and seeing what had been behind us the whole way up. It was really awesome! It was just the perspective I needed.